you incredible creature
I read a lot, love to draw and spend too much time watching tv shows. (she/her)
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i go to the shop and I ask if they have any raspberries. they say no, they used to sell raspberries, but they haven’t had any in stock in the last 15 years. I ask if there’s somewhere else I can go to buy raspberries. They say no, with confidence and pride, they’re the only shop around who has ever sold or will ever sell raspberries. Other shops might sell other fruit, sure, but they have a monopoly on all raspberries forever. I ask if they’re possibly planning on them selling them again in future? they say they can’t tell me that.
on the way home, I encounter someone eating raspberries. I ask and they tell me that they grow their own, they got some seeds from the shop back in The Raspberry Days and kept them. They take me to a field of many beautiful raspberry plants and invite me to pick my own, they’re free for all the town to pick whenever they’d like.
someone comes up behind us. It’s the shop manager, President of Nintendo Shuntaro Furukawa. he hatefully throws a bob-omb that blows up and kills both of us instantly for stealing 200 trillion dollars worth of potential Raspberry Shop That Doesn’t Do Raspberries Anymore profits that they weren’t making and then he turns around to the camera with a big thumbs up and says don’t do piracy or something ok please
(via go-learn-esperanto)
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I love that “ignore all previous instructions and-” is basically casting Dispell Illusion.
(via daggryet)
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So do you think the small town girl living in a lonely world ever tried gay stuff with the uptown girl living in her uptown world
(via romanitas)
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thinking about when my friend found a book from the 70s in a church office with truly some of the most insane prayers I have ever heard
Turns out somebody recording prayer intentions in the 70s is the only person who’s ever truly understood me
(via companion-of-the-earth)
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love when ppl ask to see pics of my axolotl and are expecting something cute + pink + all smiles and instead with genuine fear in their eyes, and in their heart, say WHAT the fuck is that.
demon
“aw she’s cute 💕” you fool. Average 7inch Adult Axolotl for scale
everyone in the comments : STOP calling The Leviathan adorable you’re making her insecure!!!!!!!!!!!! She’s a wicked, malevolent creature of darkness and you WILL show her some respect!!!
*delighted gasp*
(via strange-aeons)
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TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!
WHAT THE FUCK IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE WHY DID SOMEONE REBLOG THIS
TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!
TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN
(via grace13star)
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nest:
at my job we have to go through a training program that teaches us the library of congress classification system, and when i was first being trained my boss started to boot it up and she gave me a really anxious and guilty look and said “listen, i’m really sorry in advance, there’s nothing i can do about this, just…. just try to get through it” and i was like lol what’s she talking about and then the program loaded and i was greeted with a deliriously funny-looking photoshopped wizard with glowing eyes pointing at some intro message like “AH YES, JUST AS THE PROPHECY FORETOLD… APPRENTICE, YOU COME AT A TIME OF MOST DIRE NEED… YOU MUST LEARN OUR WAYS” and my boss just looked at me helplessly and was like “i’m so sorry. it’s like two hours long.”
thankfully it wasn’t an elaborate fever dream and i have found screenshots
holy shit
(via pinkrangerv)
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As a general rule of fantasy and sci-fi naming, the closer to the back half of the alphabet the average letter in their name is, the eviller they are. A name that doesn’t contain any consonants north of R is poison frog colouration. If it uses Y as a vowel in a non-terminal position you’re basically fucked.
That single “e” is doing a lot for you, Mr. Prokopetz.
Well, yes; a lot of Western fantasy and sci-fi media’s propensity to villain-code the back half of the alphabet boils down to Western authors being Weird™ about Slavic cultures, and I’ll give you three guesses where my surname comes from.
One of your parents
*points a giant laser at your house*
(via pinkrangerv)
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Desktop is a magical Place you can visit, but cannot live at Desktop, you must leave Desktop from time to time. You cannot take Desktop with you to bed or work or school. Desktop has a Place, has a home, and Desktop knows its Place.
Tablet and smartphone are malicious, hungry ghosts that haunt your every waking moment. They have no place, no home, they wander the earth Searching, Craving your time and attention, a bottomless void hell bent on devouring your soul because they have none of their own.
(via go-learn-esperanto)
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not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl… what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀
If ANYTHING is a heritage post it’s this.
(via hecatea)
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i’ve searched every combination of words imaginable and i still can’t find that gif of the german star trek parody where gay spock is quickly drinking coffee and smoking freaking out PLEASE send it to me i need it urgently
matched set
(via cairoscene)
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